What do I do with myself now that my child has grown?

My baby boy grew up way to fast, but he is such an incredible young man and I am so proud of him. Summer is almost over and in just a few days he returns to college.

His first semester sent me whirling! He was such a big part of my life, my whole existence! We spent so much time together, he would come to work with me on days off from school, always went everywhere I went. It devastated me when I was suddenly alone and to make matters worse, I didn't hear from him.

You see, he was having a great time being on his own, figuring it all out, and had no idea I spent time every day crying and missing him so much.

I wanted to let him have his freedom. I've always tried to step back and let him learn and do on his own.... guiding him but not letting others see that.  I knew if I wasn’t getting calls, he was okay and having a great time. So I didn’t text or call him, just wanted him to fit in and feel great about being at college.

That lasted until right before Labor Day weekend, two and a half full weeks of his being gone when I finally broke down and sent a text to ask if he wanted to come home for the three-day weekend. He responded, "No, that's ok." I swallowed my heart and I then said that we wanted to come down and at least take him to eat sometime over the weekend, and thankfully he agreed to that.

We went and got him and I couldn't believe how much joy I felt seeing him and talking with him. I could see how proud he was of himself and how much joy and confidence he had from being on his own and being at college. 

After catching up I said, "Look, I want you to have your freedom and enjoy college but I need you to do something for me" he asked what and I said, "I need you to call me every Sunday, I'm sorry but I need to know that one day a week I'm going to talk to you.   You can call or message me other days if you need anything, but I need that assurance that I'm going to talk to you on Sundays."

He laughed and said, "Really mom?" in that way where he can't believe how crazy I'm being, but thankfully he agreed.

It truly helped me to deal with him being gone, just that knowing he would call. Funny how that worked. I still missed him but could feel more proud of all he'd overcome to get where he was and happy he was having the experience.

I had to let him grow up and be out on his own and that allowed me to start finding out who I was now.  For so long, I'd just been Damien's mom. What do I want to do with my time? Hell, for that matter, my life?

He’s getting ready to start his Junior year and I’m just coming into my own.  I’ve started working in a business where not only am I getting healthy and fit, but I can help others to do the same.  I have always had a passion for helping others and a huge interest in health and nutrition.  Now I get to focus my energy on merging those things to help people to overcome health issues.

I’ve learned my purpose and my dream.  I still will miss my boy when he goes to college, but I know that I am made for more and have my own life to live and create.  What’s even greater is that my son is PROUD of me!  That’s pretty awesome.

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